Greetings, fellow users. It is with a great degree of despair that I reveal the true identity of your beloved, Mike. And while I do not expect your belief in the slightest—for my senses often make me the jest of my companions—I hope that you will accommodate your common knowledge of common things. Mike, formerly known as Chefmike, is a cold-blooded, callous, inhuman felon. He is plain in his visage, only to deceive you, and the Pokemon that bear his name are ridden with—and I weep as I pen the atrocity— PKRS. I ask that you prepare yourself both mentally and physically for the information I have yet to detail. Mike, Chefmike, your "friend", is actually a character, an acronym that portrays the mediocrity of his assignment. M.I.K.E stands for Merrily Idealistic Kilogram Enforcers. Yes, yes I know that a clear rapport is evident in your support of Mike, and much less so this ambitious proposal, but the acronym is "nonsensical" as to be vague, like a shadow escaping the harrowing light that abounds on one's face, making your wrinkles its headquarters. A true understanding is only derivable from its structure. We must delve into his residence and strip the merit that the adjectives (and adverbs) suggest. Merrily is in direct opposition to "Morosely", "Idealistic" can be exchanged with "cynical", "Kilogram" with the American "pound" and "enforcers" with "dissidents". This reveals the raw visage that Mike has been hiding. Mike is a "morosely cynical pound dissident"...
To be continued
To be continued